


To Believe

by dip_the_pip



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Christmas Angst, Christmas Fluff, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Married, Happy Ending, Holiday Angst, dan howell and phil lester have a daughter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21633535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dip_the_pip/pseuds/dip_the_pip
Summary: Their daughter is questioning the realness of Santa, and Dan doesn't wanna put in the effort to make her believe.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	To Believe

“This is absolutely ridiculous, Phil,” Dan says as they stand in the privacy of their bedroom, changing into pyjamas. “She can’t stay awake all night trying to catch Santa, and she definitely can’t sleep on the couch. 9pm, she goes to bed, 9:30pm Daddy and Papa get a little tipsy on eggnog and finish wrapping presents and bringing everything out to the longue for Christmas morning.”

Phil rolls his eyes, pulling on plaid pyjama pants that matched Dan’s and their daughters. “Look, I’m just saying maybe you could put on that old Santa costume Martyn wore to our Christmas party last year, talk to her, make her believe.”

“She’s getting older, she wants to do this because she doesn’t believe anymore, and she just wants her own physical proof.” Dan shakes his head as he sits on the edge of the bed, watching as Phil digs around in his dresser to find his matching shirt. “It’s okay if she doesn’t believe anymore, it happens.”

“It’s not a bad thing to believe in Santa, Dan. She’s a child, she should still believe in the magic. She should believe in Santa and flying reindeer and elves. Why is it so bad that I want to preserve a little bit of her hope that it might all be real?”

Dan leans back on his hands, sighing softly. Phil’s standing in front of him now, matching pyjama shirt in his hand hanging at his side. They both lost the magical spark of Christmas years ago before they brought home Violet.

They loved the holiday, of course, but they went years and years without having to play up the Santa Claus lie. Of course, when they brought home the little 3-year-old, they went off the deep end with presents and decorations. But she’s only a few months away from being 9, now, and she’s having her doubts.

Almost like Phil knows exactly what Dan’s thinking, he shakes his head a little bit. “She can’t only have 6 Christmas’ with Santa. She deserves more time.”

Dan leans forward now, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. This shouldn’t be this much of an issue, but here they were getting heated about Santa. “It’s not our fault she was passed around the system so much that she never got a proper Christmas in her first few years. And really, she probably wouldn’t have understood the concept of what Santa was until she was 2 or 3, anyways.”

“But that’s not the point,” Phil begins pacing in front of Dan now, his eyes trained on the floor.

“Just because she stops believing in Santa doesn’t mean Christmas is ruined forever,”

“But the magic is,”

“Phil-”

“Y’know what, actually?” Phil says, effectively cutting him off. He stops pacing, too, and faces Dan. “I’m gonna spend the night on the couch with Vi.” He offers a small, almost passive-aggressive smile before pulling the shirt on over his head and walking out of the bedroom, slamming the door a little harder than necessary, causing Dan to flinch.

Phil heads out to the lounge and sees Violet bundled up on the couch. She’s wrapped up in a quilt her Auntie Bryony had made for her first Christmas with the Lester’s. A holiday movie is on the tv, but her eyes are trained on the screen of Dan’s Nintendo Switch instead.

From over her shoulder, Phil can see she’s in first place and he smiles a little. He circles around the couch and plops down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “What’s up, Buttercup?” He asks as he feels his daughter cuddle into his side.

“Were you and dad fighting?” She asks quietly, pausing her Mario Kart race.

Phil squeezes her shoulder, shaking his head. “No, honey, we weren’t fighting. Little mix-up with our visiting plans tomorrow and we were trying to figure out what we were gonna do,”

“Alright…” she says quietly, resuming her game. “We’re still seeing everyone tomorrow, right?”

Phil nods, kissing the side of her head. “Of course, brunch with Auntie Bry, Uncle Martyn and Aunt Cornelia, and then lunch with Nana Karen and Uncle Adrian, and then dinner with Nanny and Poppa Lester,”

Violet smiles a little bit, resting her head against her dad’s chest. “Where’s dad?” She asks after a few moments of quiet.

“Bedroom. Might be showering, I think. I’m sure he’ll be out soon.”

-

Eventually Violet tosses the Switch aside and they curl up to watch another holiday movie on the tv. She tries to stay awake, determined that she’s gonna catch Santa. Phil promises to stay with her all night, especially when Dan doesn’t come out at all to spend time with them.

It’s a little after 11pm when Dan finally comes from the bedroom. Violet is fast asleep with her face buried into Phil’s chest, and Phil’s on the edge of drifting to sleep too.

The sound of footsteps wakes him up, though. He lifts his head and stares at Dan, who, despite saying he refused to, was dressed up in Martyn’s old Santa costume, beard, belly, and all.

“Ho, ho, ho,” Dan whispers into the dimness of the lounge. He walks over to the couch tugs the fake beard down a little, and Phil can see he’s wearing an old pair of his glasses.

“She’s upset with you,”

Dan sighs softly, sitting on the edge of the couch, careful not to wake his daughter. “I needed time to cool off. I don’t want her to have any memories of me being angry or mad at Christmas.”

“She asked if we were fighting,”

“What did you say?”

“I lied, of course.” Phil rolls his eyes a bit. “Said there was a mix up with the family tomorrow but that we got it figured out.”

“I’m…I’m sorry,” Dan starts, reaching over to grab one of Phil’s hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t want to try harder to keep her belief in Santa. I know you love Christmas and Santa and everything surrounding, but I kinda don’t. Only a few years after my brother was born, I was old enough to stop believing. I ruined his belief in Santa way to young, too, because I didn’t know any better and didn’t know when to shut my annoying mouth,”

Phil nods a little bit, squeezing his hand. “I know it’s harder for you, but it’s not really about you, or me, even. It’s about her. She wants to believe so badly, and we should help her believe.”

“Which is why I dressed up,”

Phil gives him a sleepy, lopsided grin. “My old glasses don’t suit you,”

“Well Santa wears glasses and if I just took your glasses she would realize,” He smiles. “So, I had to steal these old and ugly ones,”

“Hey, you helped me pick those out,”

“We were young, and I was still trying to make you like me,”

“We were already together for like, two or three years when I got those,” Phil points out.

“Doesn’t matter how long we’ve been together; I’m still always trying to make you like me. Why else would I be dressed up like Ol’ Saint Nick?”

Phil giggles a little bit but tries so hard to stop so he doesn’t wake Violet. “Should we wake her?”

“Uhh,” Dan glances around a bit. He tugs the fake beard back up over his face and gets up from the couch. “Pretend to sleep,” He whispers before he leaves the lounge.

Phil lets his head fall back and his eyes close. A few minutes later he hears Dan stomping around in a pair of black Doc Martens. Phil feels Violet stir a little on his chest, and then a loud and booming ‘ho, ho, ho’.

Violet sits up then, rubbing her eyes sleepily. “Papa, what was that?” She asks when Phil lifts his head and gives a dramatized yawn.

“I have no idea, darling,” He says, rubbing her back slowly. A moment later ‘Santa’ walks into the room, his hands on his belly.

“Oh my,” Dan says, trying hard to change his voice and make it deeper. “A little camper is awake! What are you doing out of bed, sweetheart?” He asks, walking over to the couch by Violet.

She watches him with wide eyes, gripping onto Phil’s shirt. “I-I wanted to see you,” She whispers, almost afraid.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, little one, but it’s too dangerous for me to do my magic to bring the presents down the chimney with you and your papa out here.”

“I thought you brought them down with you when you come down the chimney?” She asks.

Dan strokes his fake beard in thought. “I don’t want any presents to get broken or accidentally opened or damaged, so I use special Santa magic to bring them into your home and put them under the tree,”

Violet nods a little bit, looking at Santa before looking up at Phil. “We gotta go to bed then, Papa.” She says, climbing out of his lap and grabbing his hand, tugging gently. “Santa has to do work,”

Phil smiles, slowly standing up with her. “Alright, alright, I’ll come tuck you in and then I’ll go to bed,” He says, scooping her up in his arms.

She waves a little to Santa. “Thank you for my presents, Santa,” She says nervously, and Dan smiles at her warmly.

“Merry Christmas, Sweetheart,” He blows her a kiss and waves. “Goodnight, I hope you and your dad’s have a fun Christmas morning,”

Phil smiles as he takes her to her room. He tucks her in and kisses her forehead. They skip the bedtime story since it’s already so far past bedtime, and then Phil’s closing her bedroom door behind him as he walks back out to the lounge.

Dan’s sitting on the couch on his phone, still in the costume.

“Thank you,” Phil says softly, going around to sit next to Dan. He tugs the beard off his face and cups his smooth cheek, pulling him in for a kiss.

Dan returns the kiss, smiling. “I love you,”

“You too,” He whispers, pulling away. “Now we gotta do Santa’s dirty work of wrapping actually bring all the presents out to set them up.”

“Well, lucky for you, I finished wrapping them while I was cooling off.”

“My hero,” Phil giggles as he gets up to go grab the gifts to put under the tree. “Maybe if Santa’s lucky, I’ll jingle his bells.”

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr @dip-the-pip
> 
> If you'd like to reblog on tumblr [xxx](https://dip-the-pip.tumblr.com/post/189413511527/to-believe)


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